Horns are honked for many reasons.  Deciphering those honks is like the systematic process of identifying the cause of a baby’s cry.  This process is quite intricate but becomes second-nature over time (or so I’m told).

Let’s start out simple.  The primary honks are easy to spot.  The main streets are always crowded with hordes of motorists on any type of wheeled contraption imaginable.  Due to the chaos, honks are used to communicate multiple messages.  Sometimes you’ll hear a prolonged honk which says something like, “Buddy, you are in a vehicle WAY too big to be trying THAT maneuver!” or “Dude, there is NO POSSIBLE WAY we will get out of here alive if you keep on coming so STAY WHERE YOU ARE!”

Then there are a series of shorter honks.  This particular set of honks can be used for lots of reasons.  The shorter honks could say things like, “I’m a motorbike in your bind spot, please be aware,” or “I’m coming up on you really fast, so either move out of my way, or stay where you are so I can pass you.”  The personality of these honks can even be jovial, as if motorists are saying “hello friend, lovely day to be out on the road,” or “sure fellow driver, I have plenty of room, so come on over.”

Finally, we have the quick honks; the light touches of the horn that really serve no purpose whatsoever.  A few of these remain somewhat of a mystery, although after a month of living here, I can make semi-educated guesses on the purpose and intent of a couple of them.

First, we have the cat calls.  This a clear, nonsensical honk which is immediately followed up by a man yelling something (most-likely inappropriate) as he whizzes by.  There is no need to pay attention to these.  How long will it take men to understand that this interaction is NOT a turn-on?  The world may never know.

Next we have the honks with no follow up yelling.  These either mean that a motorist is thinking “hey there lonely bule (foreigner)” or as if to say “I am a motorist, and you are on foot, so I am being kind enough to identify myself in your general area even though there is no possible way I could hit you due to my current location.”

And lastly there are the mystery honks I need more time to figure out.  At certain times of night, on my walk home, when I come to a main road I must cross, I hear a quick honk that seems to really come out of no where.  There are hardly any cars on the road, traffic is moving well, and I am shrouded in darkness as I wait to cross, so what is the reason for the random honk?  Perhaps there is an unwritten rule that on any given roadway there has to be at least one horn honk every 25 seconds per 5 cars…the investigation is ongoing.

In such a huge city, with probably a million extra people over the limit of what the roads should accommodate, the honking of ones horn seems to serve more than just necessity.  It seems to have evolved into a protocol, a language.  And the volley of conversation is there, you just have to listen.